Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
