We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
