I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
