scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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