C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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