Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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