i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
