I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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