how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
