ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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