I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
