You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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