Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
