I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize