So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
