SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
