A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
