we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
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you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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