I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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