I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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