One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
