never play flip cup with pint glasses
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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