Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
