Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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