He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
