Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize