I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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