my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
