My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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