susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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