i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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