I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize