I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
