Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
