I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
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The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
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I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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