just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i want to swaddle you in tequila
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize