Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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