You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
