At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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