Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you had me at cake vodka
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
