I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
