stop calling my apartment porn island.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize