do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
