Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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