It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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