I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
