She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
