They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Come share oat with me in your robe
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
