i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
When are your genitals available?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
