thus making me awesome and them whores
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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