so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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