Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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