weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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