The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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