Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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