It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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