R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i think i have two assholes
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize