What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
