Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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